fern capella

Before bodies

what we were before bodies
is where you swim in
against struggle and the strain
of the pain of pushing out
and exposed, shout and pout
shocked and startled at the ugly faces
not sure what they're grumbling about

what we were before bodies
is the language spoken
a bubble and murmur
looks like the atmosphere was broken
you conform now to
a tongue in your mouth
a stubborn attempt
to confuse the north with the south
if we land with wings plucked and shaven
there's no way to fly out

what we were before bodies
stays buried in my pocket
behind the TV, lipstick, and razors
it's getting harder to unlock it
after screaming to skin my knees
I put up fake memory to try and block it
fallen now i must continue crawling
one step up and they come around to knock it

what we were before bodies
gave me energy of first breath
and the patience to go on breathing
what we were before bodies
put the lava in my blood stream
and the air and water to go on steaming

what we were before bodies
before suntan and age defiance
and power dances and polite compliance

before swallowing words and throwing up food
before the twisting of evil and the begging for good
before backaches and liverspots and the whimper of us crying
before panicking and little white lies and the pop of skin that involves dying

what we were before bodies
before bone came wood
what we never did
and whatever we could
what always has been
and what never should

what we were I'm still in there
what we were you got caught
what we were behind your stare
what we were nothings taught

or  has stopped
spinning