fern capella

i was one and chubby
a gift to my mother in yellow
and bald as oklahoma i blew
the candle out under the a-frame
back country asexual symmetrical
moist and relentlessly beautiful

i was five and angled
raw like hand made paper
teeth like razors and alligators
the country was a lake with
my brothers i blew
the candles out and dove
past rocks to water

i was ten and chubby
one hundred twelve pounds
at the school weigh in everyone
listens in pay-by-the-pound
embarrasses the fat girl
but boys will still play
if you get down

i was fifteen and ambivalent
translucent and gigantic
slight anxious babbling heretic
with new york accent and
texas boogeymen from back country
haunting me sex was everything
i skipped school sucked
cock instead i'd give head
with devotion

i was twenty and mexican
fucking like fire ants
in immigrant back country
with river swimmers and tamale
burnt hands rice and beans
lean body lent out in service
to universal purposes

i am twenty five and goddess
tattooed feminine mystique
prolificly impermanent
stretched and sagging burst open
temporary visions brilliant sunspot
fire eyes double star designed
sexual assymetrical
moist and relentlessly beautiful